What Do You Do When Your Dream Job Doesn’t Turn Out To Be Your Dream?

Back in Elementary school when I thought about what I wanted to be when I grew up, I didn’t think about becoming a veterinarian or an astronaut like most of my friends.

No, my dreams weren’t very… hmmm… normal for a 10 year-old child.

So, what did I dream of? Well, I dreamed of being in advertising.

At my young age, I wasn’t sure exactly what that business entailed but I knew enough. I knew that I wanted to sell Barbie Dolls on billboards and when television commercials aired, I’d think of different ways to sell the products that were being marketed towards my family and I.

I distinctly remember the scene I’d loop on repeat in my head — I pictured myself in a burgundy pantsuit strolling down the streets of New York City, swinging a briefcase, and heading up to my cubicle in a sky rise office building.

As I grew up, the goal of becoming an Advertising Rockstar never changed.

I declared my major as soon as I entered college and I silently pitied those who were “undecided.”

There was never any doubt in my mind during those four years as an Undergraduate that I wasn’t on the right path.

I didn’t immediately find a job in the field post-graduation but rather, it was about a year after that I started meddling in social media professionally. I was working for a small clothing boutique in Nashville and the owner had asked if I could help them out with their social channels.

That experience was the first time that I was truly able to put my education to use in the “Real World” and needless to say, this experience hooked me. I loved being able to take what was going on at the stores and effectively communicate it out to the community using social platforms in a creative yet business savvy way.

I took the excitement I felt and I ran with it far beyond my time in Nashville.

Fast forward a few years and I found myself at one of the most prestigious advertising agencies in the world. It was everything that 10 year-old me dreamed of.

I worked long days that began with copious amounts of black coffee and ended late at night, on my couch with my work laptop. I dreamed about hashtags more times than I’d care to admit and during the morning commute, I’d wrack my brain trying to concoct the best way to achieve my client’s goals despite the Facebook algorithm.

I worked with some amazing clients, I went to some great agency shindigs, and my coworkers truly felt like family. Now, this may have been because we saw each other more than we saw our own family and friends but in that moment, I didn’t care. These people understood me and the challenges I faced day in and day out.

It was about one year into being in the fast paced, high-stress agency life that I began to fall apart.

I began having nightmares about missing important calls from my boss and I had permanent bags under my eyes. I would lose patience and snap at my friends and family over nothing. I didn’t care about the things that once made me happy, such as writing, but rather I found myself watching mindless tv during the free moments I had.

All of this was tolerable until a few weeks ago when I awoke at 3am from a vivid nightmare about a project I was working on. It was so intense and it shook me up so badly that I had sweat through my clothing.

I couldn’t get that night out of my mind and I began realizing that the prestige, the salary, and the experience wasn’t worth it to me anymore.

This left me feeling guilty and confused.

This career was everything I wanted and dreamed about my entire life. Most people in the business would do terrible things to have the opportunity to work where I did and on the accounts that I managed.

I spent days trying to discover why I was so miserable — The agency, the account, the brands, the coworkers, etc.

I looked for any and all reasons as to why I was unhappy because the realreason for how I felt seemed unfathomable: I just didn’t like advertising anymore.

I realized that I didn’t like what I was doing every day and I didn’t like what my boss was doing every day. For me, the endgame wasn’t something I felt passionate about and it’s hard to give a career your everything when you lack a yearning to move up in the business.

While this career choice seemed like a “dream” to me for over half of my life, I just couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something better for me out there.

The problem is that, I didn’t know what that “something” was.
This is all I’ve ever wanted and there was never a Plan B, C, or D in my mind.

So, what do you do when your dream job doesn’t turn out to be your dream?

Well, I’ll tell you what I did and for a few very obvious reasons, this plan isn’t for everyone — I quit and I quit without another job lined up.

I knew that my happiness and my mental health were worth more than the paycheck I was receiving.

I knew I needed to get back to living a life I enjoyed, not one consumed with newsfeeds and hashtags.

Once I understood that leaving my “dream” would allow me to find my real dream, I took the giant, scary step towards living a life I could love, not one that was tolerable.

I don’t have all of the answers yet and to be honest with you, I’m terrifiedmore often than not when I think about the fact that I’m unemployed and mostly direction-less at 28 years old.

But at the end of the day, I truly believe that having the courage to say, “This isn’t the life I want to live” is more important than settling for an impressive job title and a big paycheck.

It’s up to us to fill our days with joy, happiness, and satisfaction. Sure, every day won’t be easy nor will it be enjoyable but it’s up to us to ensure we’re tipping the scale in favor of getting us to a life we love.

Walking down this foggy path towards happiness won’t be easy but I have to believe it’s worth it.

Read the follow up blog post

Making Your Own Business Cards is Rarely a Good Idea

I’m going to go ahead and unofficially call this blog post, “Things I’m Afraid to Tell You: Part 2.” I really enjoyed the “Things I’m Afraid to Tell You” movement and if I’m not mistaken, I think others enjoyed it as well. One thing I said in that post stuck with me,

“…I’m just like you are – no better and no worse – I’m just silly enough to put it out there for everyone to read.”

With that in mind, I feel the need to tell you about one specific embarrassing moment that happened a little while ago. I want to tell you because:

A.) This moment is kind of funny… now…

4.) It’s a wonderful reminder that I’m not perfect. You’re not perfect. Tom Hanks isn’t perfect.

Mishaps, embarrassment, and humbling moments are all part of the journey.
Yes, THE journey… The ONE thing I’ve been telling you to enjoy… So, here we go…

When I told you about my speaking engagement earlier this month, I left out one little thing: I hand crafted the business cards I handed out at this event… Which is a cute way of saying, I went to my local Hobby Lobby, found random stuff, and slapped it together last minute.

Yep, it was the day before my speech when it dawned on me, “Crap… I need something with my name/website/number on it.”

Confession: I knew business cards were needed/a good idea; however, I’m poor and assumed my money would be better spent elsewhere (aka. on PBR). I thought I could get around spending a few bucks and instead, give a little white lie about how my cards didn’t get back from the printer in time (yadda, yadda, yadda) and then scribble my info down on a napkin.

 

The day before the biggest engagement thus far in my life, I FINALLY realized I was being an idiot. Of course I needed cards! So, what did I do?

I crafted them out of 3 pages of card stock, a glue stick, and a sharpee marker. Classy.

I called up my best friend in a frenzied panic begging for her help. Four hours later, we had aching hands and pounding headaches BUT we also had 16 completed cards – 16 Budget-friendly and “cute” business cards… They had charm. They had polka dots. They had my writing.… and blood… and sweat… and tears (this is a lie. I’m being dramatic. I didn’t bleed, sweat, or cry on them.)

The next day, I handed a few out and to my delight, they went over well! I know this because the attendees told me they were cute! I thought, “Yes! They get me!”

I thought I was in the clear. I thought I was being thrifty. I thought I was smarter than all of the other business people out there in their business suits spending $100 on cards. I was feeling awesome (and sneaky) until a few weeks later…

Fast forward a few weeks: I was talking to a super-sweet woman one evening and when she asked what I did for a living, I told her that I was in social media marketing BUT I also have my own inspirational website. I excitedly dropped a, “Hold on! Let me grab you a business card!” line.

I grabbed one, thrusted it out into her hand, and then witnessed her do the unthinkable. She tried to physically peel apart my business card…

Yes, let me repeat: She tried to peel apart my business card.

Now, in her defense, I think it was sort of a subconscious thing. I don’t think she meant it to be hurtful and well… I DID craft my business cards out of paper, a glue stick, and a sharpee; however, the woman TRIED TO PEEL APART my business cards before my very eyes.

I felt crushed. I felt like a fraud. I felt like a small child who was playing dress-up with the big kids and had been caught.

I was ashamed that all I had to show for myself were last minute, crappy, rectangles of card stock glued together. 

Now, I know this is silly (or maybe it’s not) but it felt as if this woman was calling me out in front of my eyes and she was saying in her own way, “You’re not quite there yet sweetie.”

While embarrassing, it was also a reminder that to be taken seriously, I have to get serious. I have to stop being stuck in my ways (ask my boyfriend, he’ll tell you I’m VERY stuck in my ways). I can’t expect to do what I want to do and to get as far as I want to get without sacrificing or bending a little. I’m stubborn and it’s becoming a problem.

I knew business cards were a good idea but I thought I could charm my way through this process and save a few bucks.

How wrong.

Turns out, life doesn’t really care if you’re stubborn and cheap. It will challenge both you and your ways. It will make you think, it will make you question, and when you think you’ve got it all down and you’re smarter, it will show you that you’ve still got a little way to go…

Sometimes we need life to remind us, “You’re not quite there yet sweetie”

Fear.

Now, I pride myself on liking really great things… Fantastic music, adorable kittens, etc. BUT if there’s one thing that I love, it’s crappy television. Oh my goodness, give me disgustingly tan fist pumping Jersey Shorians and high heeled Kardashian sisters any time, any day. Tonight – for once – this love of terrible TV has paid off. This shameful love has inspired me to write a blog post… Stick with me on this one.

I watched American Idol tonight (judge me <- heh… See what I did there?) and then I watched a re-run of Modern Family. Both of these shows struck a chord with me because both of these shows had the common thread of “Fear” woven into them. I do believe you can probably guess why people who are on American Idol are fearful (that the judges won’t like them, they won’t win, etc.) and on this episode of Modern Family, Claire admitted that she didn’t want to run for office because she was afraid to fail.

While I do love talking about how life happens once you step outside of your comfort zone, I can also admit that living without fear is easier said than done.

Of course, I’m afraid to fail. It’s not something I like to admit but tonight, I will confess it to you on this semi-permanent blog post that can be deleted and/or edited at any time. Okay, seriously though… The fear of failing is one of the reasons that I’ve been holding myself back from finishing this and starting that. I’m afraid to reach out to some people for fear that it will only end in heartache. I’m afraid to finish my novel for fear that nobody else will like it.

I’m pretty sure that it’s normal to be afraid of not succeeding. You can be afraid to start a project for fear that no one will appreciate the time it took you to create the finished product or that they don’t understand your passion for it. You can be afraid to talk to that cute boy or girl across the room. You can be afraid to take out your nose ring to switch it out for something smaller because you’re pretty sure you’re going to pass out in the process… You didn’t exactly think ahead and realize that you would have to slide this metal object out of your own face by yourself while you were conscious… Hmm… Just me? 🙂

Yes, all of this is normal and no, nobody will judge you for failing. If they do judge you then I give you permission to silently hate them.

The thing here to remember is that dammit… You tried.

Plus, there are SO many benefits to failing! 😉

1. You TRIED
2. You don’t have to play the “What If” game
3. You TRIED
4. You know how NOT to go about it the next time around
5. You TRIED

You know that you gave it your all and if it didn’t work, then it didn’t work. No harm done and I can guarantee you’re a better person for trying; however, please keep in mind that even if it didn’t work this time, that doesn’t mean that you’ll never succeed!

Live a little. Don’t be afraid to make a mistake. Don’t be afraid to fail. Don’t be afraid to try again.

If you’re afraid of looking dumb then stop it. That’s silly… I look dumb all of the time! Heck, if you think looking dumb is the worst thing in the world… I’ll prove you wrong. I’ll do something stupid, video tape it, and share it with Live Inspired if it will convince you that looking dumb is not an excuse for not trying something.

– Side note: If this happens by some odd reason, I’m putting a disclaimer right now that I need proof that you actually did something you were afraid to do… haha –

In the American Idol episode tonight, one girl auditioned with an Aerosmith song and she sang it for Steven Tyler! Yep! She sang it to the original singer!

Do you know how frightening that must’ve been?!

 But guess what?

She didn’t pass out. She didn’t pee her pants. She didn’t die.

She’s just fine and she’s going to Hollywood.

You’ll be just fine too 😉

Failing to Succeed

Let me start this post off by saying that it’s really possible to “fail to succeed“. I know this because I’ve done it.  Seriously though, I think I’ve failed WAY more often than most human beings do. But each of these failures has taught me valuable life lessons, more specifically – I tend to learn (very quickly) that I don’t know it all and if I want to succeed, then I need to stop and open up my eyes.

With that being said, let’s look back to one of my most memorable failures: Taking the Honors English test in high school.

Students were given the option to take a written test to see if we could bypass the regular English class and instead take an accelerated one. Of course, I needed to take this test. I thought highly of myself and my ability to read and write and I knew I’d pass with flying colors. Come on…I grew up reading Archie comics that my mother had bought for me from the supermarket. Those comics were chock-full of strange vocabulary (Egads!) and intricate story lines between Betty, Veronica, and Archie

The day of the test, I was waiting patiently in class for the announcement which would excuse students who were planning on taking it. When they finally said that we could leave class and head to the cafeteria, I got up -smug smirk plastered upon my face- and strutted all the way to the cafeteria. I then plopped down on a cold lunch table bench to await the test that would prove my brilliance. I looked around at the other kids who thought that they could rock this test as well as I could (suckers) and then placed two sharpened #2 pencils onto the table.

I was handed the test and I began working quickly, as if I was in some big race. I finished quicker than most of the other students but I didn’t let that phase me. They just weren’t as smart, clearly. I walked up to the front of the room, head held high, and turned in my test.  Sure, I felt a little nervous about the essays I had written but I figured that was normal. Cocky? Perchance …but I felt confident that I knew my stuff.

When we received word on whether or not we were accepted into the honors class, I wasn’t worried. My palms weren’t sweating nor was I nervously tapping my pencil on my desk. I snagged that paper up and glanced at it just long enough to see that I wasn’t accepted.

WHAT?!

I was devastated. I knew that being in honors English wasn’t THAT big of a deal but thinking that I wasn’t good enough just wasn’t acceptable, especially when I had all the confidence in the world. I thought that my passion would be enough. I wouldn’t have to prepare nor would I have to work all that hard. I was naive. I thought I knew it all.

This failure (let’s not sugar coat it…I definitely failed this test) taught me A LOT. It was one of the very first slap-in-the-face experiences I had where I realized that “Ohh wait, I’m not the worlds smartest (funniest/prettiest/wittiest/etc.) human being in the world.” It was at that moment that my 8th grade self learned a valuable lesson: I found that I’m never too good to keep learning nor am I too good to work hard.

Passion and love will get you incredibly far but not without some hard work and dedication.

Next year, when that test rolled around, I didn’t want to take it. I was bitter and I had an embarrassing amount of anger towards with that silly piece of paper; however, I did take it and I passed. Do you know why? The previous year, when I was sitting in regular English class, I paid more attention, asked more questions, and really tried to absorb everything my teacher was telling us. I worked my butt off and stopped the silly thoughts that I didn’t need to dedicate myself to learning and fixing my mistakes. I stopped thinking that I was better than everyone else and “They just didn’t have my natural talent.”

When you begin to shut out the world and think that you know it all – that you really truly have nothing else to learn – then you’re denying yourself the opportunity to grow and amaze yourself. Let yourself take it all in and never ever stop learning. Fix your mistakes, listen to what people are telling you, and keep doing what you love…even if you fail at first.