Fact: I’ve never been one to identify and/or keep new year resolutions.
It’s not that I think they’re a bad idea. Not at all.
Honestly, I’ve tried numerous times to figure out the right resolution but it just doesn’t work out for me.
See, the thing is that, after 29 years of being on this Earth, I know myself and I know that I’m going to feel too much pressure to identify the ‘right’ goal, I’m going to stress about sticking to it and it’s going to consume my every thought.
That’s why this year, I didn’t really even go down the path of setting a resolution for myself; however, I found myself setting one. Yep, you read that correctly.
On my way into work about 3 weeks ago, I was letting my mind wander and I realized that this year, I wanted to accomplish a lot – I wanted to be happier, I wanted to be healthier, I wanted to rekindle the love I have for writing.
After figuring out those broad goals for the year, my brain naturally wanted to put numbers behind these goals – volunteer once a week, lose 20 lbs, write twice a week.
But minutes after identifying these numerical ways of tracking my “success or failure,” I stopped myself.
In those few moments, I realized that this idea of “success and failure” is what has stopped me from making (or keeping) resolutions in the past.
For the sake of this blog post, let’s discuss the typical “lose 20 lbs” goal – If I told myself that I wanted to lose 20 lbs then I’d let that idea dictate my every move. If I was craving a burger and fries, I’d pass on going out to lunch with coworkers because of the temptation. If I was out for date night with my boyfriend and he suggested dessert, I’d think to myself, “That’s going to add unnecessary calories.”
In my eyes, these little setbacks would be considered failures. but that’s not what new years resolutions are about.
I don’t want to feel bad about sharing a slice of cake with my boyfriend or pass on lunch because I feel like a burger instead of a salad.
That’s not how I want to spend my days.
Aren’t resolutions about making conscious efforts to improve your life? If that’s the case (and I do believe it is) then I wasn’t going to let myself fail in these ways. I refuse to punish myself and get down on myself if I have a slice of cake, if I have a busy week and I can’t volunteer, or if I just have writers block.
I was setting myself up to fail before I really gave myself a chance to lose weight, be happier, whatever.
That’s why this year, I decided my resolution is simply to “make better choices.”
If I’m out at the bar but had a big lunch, I’ll have water (orrrrrr vodka with soda water) or if I’ve lost touch with a friend, I’ll make the choice to reach out. I won’t let what I do or don’t do reflect upon my overall goal of improving my way of life.
I’m going to focus on little acts every day to better myself in the long haul and not get down on myself or give up on the resolution if I slip up.
For me, it’s all about using little actions, every day, to better myself as a person and with this mentality, I can’t fail.
If you haven’t yet set a resolution, if you’re looking to add something new to your list, or if you find that the numeric goal isn’t working for you, don’t give up. Shift your way of thinking and try this yourself.
I’ve been actively making better decisions for the last 3 weeks and I’ve already noticed a difference <3