I want to be better. I want to do more. I want to do this, this, this and maybe that.
All of these wants and desires are fine until I realize that I’m human and I can’t actually do it all.
Well… Correction – I COULD do it all but it wouldn’t be done well and honestly, that would annoy me more.
I’m trained in advertising/marketing, so I know that my generation was the generation who grew up with “You gave it a great attempt!” ribbons and “You’re still great even though you got last place!” trophies. Our parents took us to dance lessons on Mondays, Karate lessons on Tuesdays, flute lessons on Wednesdays, etc. We were always going, going, going, and then going some more.
We gave the Energizer Bunny a run for his money… I get it.
But when does the pressure become too much?
The other night, I was laying in bed and wondering why I had this nagging feeling that I was actually unhappy. Like I previously mentioned, my life has been fantastic lately – I have a wonderful boyfriend, a job I love, and an adopted (new) kitty; however, something was missing.
That’s when it hit me… I had the “I can do better” syndrome.
When I stopped to think about it, it became obvious to me. I spend MANY hours working from home at the job I love (and the job that pays the bills), then I realize that we could raise more awareness of our company by starting a marketing tumblr account. Then I think about how I could do more with Live Inspired which brings me to working more on my novel. That’s when I decide that writing for Live Sigma Kappa isn’t necessarily enough, and I could branch out and look for other websites to contribute to.
I want to do this, this, and then I want to do that. I realized that I have this innate drive in me to do it all and I realized that I could never ‘truly’ be happy until I reached some unattainable and invisible bench mark in life.
This unattainable and invisible bench mark symbolizes every single achievement that I have ever set for myself and have yet to accomplish (regardless if I’m working towards it or not). This mark keeps raising up higher and higher… It makes me believe that if I just add ‘one more thing‘ to my plate, I’ll be both accomplished and happy – yet, once I do ____, _____, and _____ it says, “Just kidding! Now that you’ve done those things, you can do _____, _____, and ____ THEN you’ll be accomplished and happy!”
Does that scare you like it scared me?
With this sort of mentality, I couldn’t win. I was pinned up against this unrealistic version of myself where time, inspiration, and motivation didn’t exist.
I had to change my mentality… I knew that I would never blow past this unrealistic mark I set for myself. Not because I didn’t want to but because no matter what, I would always strive for more and to be better.
This thought process becomes toxic when you keep raising the bar without noting when you hit the previous bar…
I realized that sometimes you have to sit back and take inventory… You have to think about where you were last week, last month, last year and pin that person against the person you are today.
If you’ve come farther towards your goal than you were then my goodness, you’re doing it. You’re getting SOMEWHERE and that’s a big feat! Even if you take little steps towards these big, bad, intimidating goals you’ve set for yourself then you’re farther than not moving at all.
If you’re happy then for just one moment… STOP… Stop and take it in.
Stop treating each accomplishment you reach as “whatever” and instead, be proud! If you want to lose 10 pounds, take notice when you lose 5. If you want to write a novel, take note when you decide to write a page each night. If you want to do _________ then pat yourself on the back when you __________ and be proud of yourself.
I know it’s hard to take every little accomplishment in and accept it for what it is but believe me, you’ve got to. You’re getting somewhere. You’re moving forward. You’re not forgetting about your dream. You’re doing it.
Stop thinking that you need to do more and more and more.
Just stop for one moment, take a deep breath, and realize that this world is pretty fantastic and you’re working damn hard for what you believe in.
Nobody said it was an easy journey but darling, nothing worth having ever comes easy. Just don’t give up and realize that you’re doing something amazing… Keep going.
You’ve got this.